Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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