just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
