sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
