It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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