I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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