JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
