The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You work out of a Hotel?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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