Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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