you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
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