You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
