The beer is more important than you right now.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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