none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Randomize
