Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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