The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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