I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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