I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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