Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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