It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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