she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Its about making memories worth repressing
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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