just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
