Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
