You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
