I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
