i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
