I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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