Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
