i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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