yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
