Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
