Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
