Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
