I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
