Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Bang-toberfest begins!!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
