He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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