We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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