some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
