Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
