At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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