u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
im six kinds of drunk right now
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
