just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
