I think my vagina is haunted
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
