Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I intend to get homeless drunk
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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