A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Bring me that man meat
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
