Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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