i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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