the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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