Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
