In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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