so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
