i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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