How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
